new york city

i got lost here this weekend.
i. love. it.
my heart is full; mu cup runneth over.

d(an)ce

if i had my own dance class , i would have two rules:

1. no cell phones
2. proper dance attire (no jeans, no flip flops)

i drive in the HOV lane every morning.
those things are so overrated.
what are they for? to reward those who carpool and, thus, "decrease" pollution?
it's bull; therefore, i drive in the HOV lane every morning.

Dear Rachel,

the only reason i've added a new blog is because i know you were looking for it. you're welcome. thanks for being my one audience member. let's talk books soon and very soon. i bought a new toni morrison book--jazz. want to read it with me?

your friend,
olivia (ms. carter)

life [go]als

1) go back to school: i miss being a student.
options: mtsu- masters in english; vanderbilt- masters in creative writing
HOW ABOUT BOTH???? i think yes. i have to take the GRE first and score high enough to impress vanderbilt. i can do it.

a dis[cove]ry

i realized last night while watching prince caspian that i have a crush on mr. tummus. i genuinely missed his presence.
p.s. go see the movie. so good.

la muerte

my best friend's grandmother passed away on saturday. she flew in from d.c. this morning to attend the visitation and funeral; therefore, i opted to drive to carthage for the afternoon/evening in order to spend some much needed time (it's been two months!!) with her at the funeral home. what a lovely evening it was. we shared tears, laughter, secrets, smiles, hugs, advice, etc. all in just a few short hours.
her dad said something lovely about his mother who had just passed away that i want to remember forever:
"i am sad that she could not live forever with a good quality of life. but that is selfish."
that's all.
pray for jen and her family. i always pray that the hurting person is granted the ability to grieve fully. that is important. it's part of living and growing. grief kills. then all we can do is be born again. growth is good.

me: i like you.
him: i like all of you. every corner.

con[un]drum

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I’ll still feel you here ’til the moment I’m gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

[CHORUS]
Set me free, leave me be. I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I’m supposed to be.
But you’re on to me and all over me.

You loved me ’cause I’m fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

[CHORUS]
Set me free, leave me be. I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I’m supposed to be.
But you’re on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you’re everything I think I need here on
The ground.
But you’re neither friend nor foe though I can’t seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you’re keeping me down

Your keeping me down,
Your on to me, your on to me and all over
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes to long…

tornadic activity

so there was quite at uproar over some dangerous, deadly, and destructive tornado activity the other night. houses and lives uprooted and thrown across the field. belongings. memories. emotions. buried in the rubble.
so i thought...what material possessions of mine would hurt me to lose?
my books.

disclaimer: i am a nerd. not only do i know this. i accept it and revel in it.

rest

"it was nice to be alone, not to have to smile and look pleased..."
i feel like this often

to my kids at central....

we are having a poetry coffee house over the next couple of days. the kids write original poems and "perform" them (some want to sing and some want to rap). i promised them that i would write a poem. so after spending time with some of them tonight at a basketball game, this is what happened:

I like change.
I always have.
New places
New people
New sights
New emotions
Experiences
Lessons [will be] learned
But I can’t deny the sense of deflation I feel
When leaving those or that
Whom or which I love.
No words.
Tears yes.
No words.
But I will say this:
Thank you.
I will never forget any of you.
In Spanish: Le quiero:
I care a lot.
Gracias.

noticias

so i got a job. i have a salary. i am a teacher.
i am teaching sophomore honors english.
several emotions.
elated.

hecho

i have siete days left with my kids at central, and in all honesty, i think my heart might shatter. i'm trying to hang on to every bit of time that i have left with them. why did i have to go and fall in love with them?

unin[hi]bited

a close friend of mine sent me a message from chicago one summer day that read: "i want to be the man who is free enough to sing loud gospel music along with his discman with his eyes closed. on the train. alone. "

unhibited.
she [above] did. in the middle of opryland hotel. she found a piano. sat down. and sang. it was beautiful.

"sing with your head up.
with your eyes closed.
not because you love the song.
because you love to sing...."

twice in one da(y)

i found this. honestly, i love this. i remember this night so clearly. written on july 25, 2006 [while in mexico]....

im in the mood to either read and get lost in another world or write and make up my own.

got a massive effin paper cut today...by massive i mean this one might need stitches.

went to the pyramids today and climbed one. by climbing i mean walked up 236 stairs. yes, that is the accurate number. no, my obsessive complulsive mind did not click on and count...alexis did...A: dos cientos treinta y seis..como se dice, oli? O: en ingles? A: si O: 236

keiry (prounounced katey)-the two year old- kicked me today because she was mad that i took the roll of double-sided tape from her (thats how i got the paper cut). then her mom smacked her hand.

i realize that i listen to my ipod when i most need to escape what is happening around me.

i usually hold on to my wadded up napkin for at least 15 min after i eat. it must be some sort of security for me.

i find myself really wanting to buy a book of poetry by nikki giovanni. if you dont know any of her stuff...FIND IT AND READ IT. shes amazing.

you know your in a foreign country when your excited about eating pizza.

i played a game on facebook today. i clicked on a friend from high school, then kept clicking on mutual friends. its cool to see where everyone is.

i cant wait for classes to start back. i really want to dive into a new english class. this semester its shakespeare and then some.

decorating for vbs tomorrow. will get to see some familar people.

my mind is as full as a ticks swollen body right now. its not fun. i think it might pop at any moment...

hence the reason to get lost elsewhere

ciao.

[nos vemos]

untit[led]

yes, please.
sí, por favor.

sacrifice?

"people talk of the sacrifice i have made in spending so much of my life in africa. can that be called a sacrifice which is simply paid back as a small part of a great debt owing to our God, which we can never repay? is that a sacrifice which brings its own blest reward in healthful activity, the consciousness of doing good, peace of mind, and a bright hope of a glorious destiny hereafter? away with the word in such a view and with such a thought! it is emphatically no sacrifice. say rather it is a privilege. anxiety, sickness, suffering, or danger now and then with a foregoing of the common conveniences and charites of this life, may make us only be for a moment. all these are nothing when compared with the glory which shall be revealed in and for us. i never made a sacrifice."

david livingstone

(given to me by a close friend to read while in china)

just some thoughts....

i remember telling someone one time that there is a difference between a companion and a friend. in my opinion the word friend in the english language is obsolete. society has taken the meaning of friend and degraded it. these days a friend is someone you meet online. someone with similar likes and dislikes. a friend wishes you happy birthday on your facebook wall. the end. there’s nothing more to it than that.
but a companion. a companion is someone who accompanies you. an accompaniment. someone who walks beside you. someone who plays the music while you sing. another soul with which to mingle. a companion is not about likes and dislikes. a companion is about the other person. a companion listens rather than talks. a companion doesn’t move you down the list of her priorities. a companion knows your soul. a companion cries too. a companion misses you. a companion knows and allows you to know in return.

i like trees....

So was I once myself a swinger of birches;
And so I dream of going back to be.
It's when I'm weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood 45
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig's having lashed across it open.
I'd like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over. 50
May no fate wilfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth's the right place for love:
I don't know where it's likely to go better.
I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree, 55
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches. 60

“birches”
robert frost

*if you wish, you can make your own commentary....